Mzee and I just landed from San Diego this morning and drove straight to church to get baptized. Not that we sinned sana while on the trip 
, we’ve been planning this for months now.
It actually feels like a big deal to me. I was originally baptized Catholic as a child so going through today’s decision as an adult is a much deeper stronger experience. God has really brought me far and I am deeply enjoying my growing relationship with him.
I feel like a strange Christian though. I refuse to swallow wholesome the politics of a majority of Christians. I think that as a group we are some of the most dysfunctional family (Christians that is). From Ted Haggard, Jerry Falwell, and some of the nuts preaching in Kenya, I think that the name of God and Christ is so misused today. I used to be an active participant in the church a long time ago but I stopped because of Christians. I couldn’t deal with the hypocrisy.
Now I’m back and trying to focus exclusively on my relationship with God and to build my faith not based on the behaviour of Christians, but on God’s Word, and his speaking to my heart. And part of that is not being afraid to challenge and question and wrestle with God. Its taken me a long time to figure out that he can stand up for himself in my life. He can stand up to my toughest questions. And he lovingly answers even my most ridiculous challenges. So with that, Mzee and I took the plunge this morning. Committing ourselves publicly to walk the walk we have been walking for the last two years anyway.
In pregnancy news: I’ve been experiencing regular cramping for the last couple of days and i’m terrified this might be another miscarriage like last time. There is no bleeding which is reassuring and some of the literature I’ve been reading on the web seems to indicate that cramping sometimes happens in early pregnancy. I have a blood test tomorrow (Monday) to measure my HGC, cholesterol, diabetes etc and then another on Wednesday to check if my HGC (pregnancy hormones) are doubling every two days as they should in a healthy pregnancy. This was the test that revealed my impending miscarriage last time so I’m quite a bit anxious. Wish me/us luck.
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May 19, 2008 at 4:19 am
mwari
As far as my relationship with God goes, I normally keep as just that, “my relationship with God” In these times that we live in, it is important to know what/Whom you believe in. I no longer go by preachers and doctrines.
On the pregnancy front, just relax, and focus on being positive. I read somewhere that most women miscarry on their first pregnancy. Though I cannot tell for a fact, I suspect it happened to me…. I advise you not focus so much on losing, but on getting.
All the best!
thanks dear.
Its just hard because I feel like I have a choice to get emotionally attached to the pregancy or not. If I get attached I’ll be a mess if I have another miscarriage. Thats whats making it so hard to focus on getting. I don’t know if i’m getting yet. I should know more on Thursday after the ultrasound and with the results of the HGC testing in.
May 19, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Prettylyf
Hi I’m a newbie at your’s. First time I stop over and this post has so many catches for me. First off San Diego? what?! that’s where I am and wasn’t it just insanely hot this weekend? It was 99F and I was dying. Plus just yesterday in that heat I went for a friend’s baptismal ceremony.
As a nurse I’ll tell you that cramping is standard during early pregnancy/first tremester. But from your past experience I understand where you’re coming from. I hope and pray for you all is well
All the best with creating and maintaining a true relationship with God. I can tell you for sure it’s going to be a great experience
Happy Monday!
welcome!!
Yeah, I’ve been stressing out about the cramping then I read that it happens often. Just as soon as I calmed down about that I started spotting and i’m reading that that happens quite a bit too. Its not heavy bleeding thankfully but still. I have my first ultrasound on Thursday and I’m super anxious. In the meanwhile i’m EXHAUSTED!
May 20, 2008 at 12:32 am
Nakeel
Maintaining what we believe in is just the main challenge sometimes we fall off the way and forget about Him but just talking to Him helps us. Hope you keep your relationship with Him.
I was experiencing the cramps in the first tremester and just made sure that I relaxed well and didn’t think alot. As Mwari said focus more on the positive side and dont worry too much. Give everything to God in prayer and you will overcome. You know eat well and watch yourself. All the best in the journey.
May 20, 2008 at 6:30 am
Maua
First time here, and I like it already.
Xtians, it’s funny that most of us are really disgusted by the lot around us, yet I find that if I do not fellowship, my little light fades away. The most important thing is learning to find God in your own ways, and involving Him in your life all the time. Prov 3:5 says that we should not lean on our own understanding, (or the understanding of others, you are accountable to you alone). He’ll never let you down. Ask him to guide you in getting a good shepherd (pastor), maybe not now, but in time you will need one.
It’s good to be born again in water.
Good luck with ya scans, and I’ll remember you as I pray for my blogthren.
May 28, 2008 at 4:46 pm
prettylyf
Yup spotting is also a standard during pregnancy. Hang in there