I just got back from the doctors and I’m struggling to see the good news. With the ultrasound and HGC testing it looks like my pregnancy is 5 weeks along. Which would be all good news except for that doesn’t match up to the date of my last period and hence projected ovulation date which would place the pregnancy at 7 weeks. And the continuing cramping and increasing bleeding are further indicators that something is very wrong.

With all that info the doc placed my chances of having another miscarriage at 50%.

I’m devastated, overwhelmed, sad, confused, and tired. I can’t even cry or pray.

I know that 50% means there is a chance that we’ll pull through. But I know what a miscarriage is like and I don’t want to go down that path again. I’m remembering Jesus’ prayer at Gethsemane: “My Father, please take this cup of suffering from me. Yet not my will but your will be done”.

I leave to go defend my dissertation next Friday but its so hard to concentrate!