You are currently browsing the monthly archive for February 2009.

Mzee and I are holding up but I must admit that the addition of this little munchkin had changed the game.

Its amazing to me that such a little thing can have such a big impact.

Not being able to make him stop crying is the hardest. When he’s crying I feel like my heart is being ripped into pieces.  When Mzee is not able to get him to stop crying in 2 mintues I feel like i’m dying.  At the same time I know that its  important to let Mzee take care of him and not be hovering all the time.  Stepping in every time does communicate to Mzee that I don’t trust his ability to handle the baby.  In my mind I know that.

But boy am I failing the test big time!  I hear the baby crying, vumilia for about 2 minutes, then I can’t take it any more and I have to come in and intervene.

I’m worried that i’m contributing to a dynamic that is going to come back and bite me in the butt again latter where Mzee doesn’t know how or is not willing to deal with the crying baby anymore or the baby doesn’t know how to be comforted by his Dad.

Moms out there, was this ever an issue for you guys?

Also, in celebration of babies here is Nyota Ndogo and my next cd purchase as soon as I hit home.

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I remember growing up watching this movie about animals that get drunk off marula fruit.

KBC played it again in December during PEV.  There we were, Mzee and I in our little studio apartment watching elephants falling over drunk as the country fell apart outside.

Quick post while baby naps…

My brain is barely functioning!

I keep forgeting stuff and can barely retain new info. I’d heard about this phenomenon but its really trippy when it happens to you!

So much for trying to work on my book while baby Barack is napping.  All i can muster is folding laundry and ironing.

Hopefully things get better in some weeks here because this really is not sustainable.

In other news, today is my first day alone with the bambino.  He was born exactly a month ago (January 16th) and since then I’ve either had Mzee or his parents or my parents around.  So far its going swimmingly. I even figured out how to go to the bathroom while holding him because he was screaming his head off and I really had to go.  about those Kegels……

I keep thinking that if I knew six months ago what I know now I would have had so much more fun with my pregnancy.

I spent so much time and energy flipping out and fearing the labour and delivery that it seriously cut into my enjoyment of pregnancy.  Turns out I had nothing to worry about and I should have just chilled out.

1. Yes labour and delivery are painful but its doable and bearable with the right kind of pain medication.  I went into the process thinking that it was either an epidural or nothing.  Kumbe there are IV medication options which is what I took and it worked perfectly for me.  Every hour the nurse would load me up with a dose and I would continue labouring. I could still feel the contractions and the pushing but the meds just took the edge off.  Halfway through the nurse looked at me and told me that I was well on my way to doing this without an epidural and for the first time I believed that i was capable.  That nurse was awesome!

2. My body is capable of a lot more than I’ve ever given it credit for.  I’ve had a really rough relationship with my body for years now.  Coming to America as a teenage girl to a family where the women had serious body image issues themselves was horrible for my self image.  Consequently i’ve wasted the last decade in conflict with my body.  I feel like labour and delivery have ended a long civil war.  My body has won.   I love it, I respect it, and I am in awed amazement at what it can do.  For example, I’m already weighing less than I did on the day that I found out I was pregnant!!  This is not because I went on some extreme diet during the pregnancy.  I just decided that I wasn’t going to care about dieting and that I was just going to focus on eating healthy but eating what I fancied.  Nausea took care of my tendancy to overeat and the rest is history.  I’m hoping to parlay my newfound respect for my body into a new healthy lifestyle.  wish me luck!!