You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘baby’ tag.

Being a mother is hard. and actually sometimes it sucks.

This afternoon I spent two hours trying to get baby Barack to take his nap only for him to scream his lungs out.  I tried leaving him to cry it out and he wouldn’t stop. I went in and rocked him. nothing. fed him. nothing. burped him. nothing.

This is such a mind fcuk!   Its the most frustrating experience of my life.   Sometimes he’s been crying for almost an hour and I really don’t want to be around him.  Mzee is at work and won’t make it home for another hour and honestly all I want is a stiff cocktail, for my ear to stop ringing, and to not smell like a combination of poop, pee, and bad milk.

I finally gave up and now he’s quite happily kicking his legs and playing by himself.  He really just did not feel like sleeping.  What kind of three month old only takes one nap a day?!!

oh crap. there goes the crying again…..

Mzee and I are holding up but I must admit that the addition of this little munchkin had changed the game.

Its amazing to me that such a little thing can have such a big impact.

Not being able to make him stop crying is the hardest. When he’s crying I feel like my heart is being ripped into pieces.  When Mzee is not able to get him to stop crying in 2 mintues I feel like i’m dying.  At the same time I know that its  important to let Mzee take care of him and not be hovering all the time.  Stepping in every time does communicate to Mzee that I don’t trust his ability to handle the baby.  In my mind I know that.

But boy am I failing the test big time!  I hear the baby crying, vumilia for about 2 minutes, then I can’t take it any more and I have to come in and intervene.

I’m worried that i’m contributing to a dynamic that is going to come back and bite me in the butt again latter where Mzee doesn’t know how or is not willing to deal with the crying baby anymore or the baby doesn’t know how to be comforted by his Dad.

Moms out there, was this ever an issue for you guys?

Also, in celebration of babies here is Nyota Ndogo and my next cd purchase as soon as I hit home.